Directile Dysfunction

Tuesday August 11th, 2009 - Cary, IL

My entire day went in a completely different direction than I had planned and all I could do was try to run with it. I originally intended to work on my comedy class outline but my car has been making loud front end squeaking noises and I wanted to get it taken care of.

My classes will be over forever if my front wheel snaps off on the freeway and I skid my way to a violent fiery death. That’s something I could only do once but classes can repeat over and over so I chose to get the car fixed so I could continue with my lesson updates.

I always try to update my lessons and improve my system and I’m never satisfied. I like to constantly challenge myself to provide the best classes around and I know that I do that hands down. It’s not bragging, it’s a fact. Nobody works harder at studying the process of standup comedy and implementing it on stage before a live audience than me. NOBODY.

That’s why it really infuriates me when these other wannabes and charlatans come along and try to steal money from unsuspecting people. It’s happening all over the place and it’s really pissing me off but all I can do is make my own product better and blow them out of the water, or at least make it obvious for anyone with half a brain my product is superior.

It now becomes a marketing contest. I know in my heart how much grueling hard work and blood and sweat and sacrifice and passion went into learning my craft. Those mooks aren’t even at the top of the comedy club ladder much less have appeared on national TV other than maybe doing the wave at a football game. They don’t know what comedy is.

Unfortunately, neither do the ones taking their half assed ‘classes’ so it’s nothing more than the age old case of the blind leading the stupid. I have to overcome that by creating a method that the others aren’t doing and also market it to customers they aren’t reaching. I want this course to be the top comedy course in the world and also the best marketed.

The time seems to be here again where lots of people want to get into the business. It’s been cyclical and with the Adam Sandler movie out now there seems to be a new wave of people curious as to what comedy is all about. Unfortunately only a few of them will ever try it and even fewer will stick with it. Why? Because it’s DIFFICULT. But it’s also fun.

That’s what I stress in my classes and will continue to do so. Yes, I absolutely admit it’s bothering me that underqualified wannabes are oozing up through sewers everywhere but nobody else seems to care. Clubs are allowing this to go on but they don’t know better.

The one advantage I have in all of this is that Zanies in Chicago has let me exclusively teach their comedy classes since 1994. I have it documented and they will back me on it. They’re a player in Chicago and even though others are popping up I still get to continue mine at Zanies for as long as I choose to do it. THAT’S why I’m loyal to them in return.

I have an opportunity to take my business to a whole new level. The others are trying to copy me but they aren’t doing a very good job. They’re just distracting like mosquitoes.

I am way ahead of them all because I spent my life studying comedy and comedians and all the ins and outs of the business from a practical and hands on experience. It’s the main difference between college and the real world, or theory and reality. I’ve walked the walk.

Apparently there are enough people who don’t really care about that and I guess if they want to take a class from a less qualified person I can’t stop them. Quality costs more but sometimes there isn’t enough left over to experience it after money was wasted on junk.

I’ve always said it before and I’m saying it now that I love to teach people who want to devote their lives to comedy, either as writers or performers. That’s who I most desire for companionship on any level. If I’m on the road with a comic I want that comic to want to learn his craft just like I had to and just like everyone before me had to. It’s a long road.

There are no easy answers and quick solutions just like there aren’t any quick ways that make a million dollars in real estate with no effort other than listening to a tape and going to the local courthouse and deciding which foreclosed on mansion you want given to you. Comedy is difficult as is real estate as is running a McDonald’s. Nobody rides for free.

Maybe these idiots are doing me a favor in the long run. They’re weeding out the misfit masses who don’t really want to learn about comedy but are only looking for a quick easy way to effortless superstardom even though they’ve never struggled for anything in life.

I want to get in there and WORK. I also want to work with those who want to work. I’m not promising any quick solutions. All I’m promising is to reveal my many mistakes so it will hopefully save time for a new person and help them avoid the same screw ups I did.

I also can accurately assess where a newbie’s strengths and weaknesses lie and tell them how to properly advance both onstage and off. If a person buys into it I have a lifelong fan and pupil and I have quite a few of those now. Tom Clark now lives in L.A. and headlines nice clubs and really has developed a nice career. I could see his talent in his first class.

That was 15 years ago now and he’s paid his dues and is teaching his own classes out in L.A. at the Comedysportz location apparently. THAT doesn’t bother me at all. In fact I’m very proud to hear that because I know I was his first entry into comedy and he’s still in it all these years later. I just saw him last week and he’s doing well. He’s really blossomed.

All my plans were put on hold today as I drove my car to get looked at near Jerry Agar’s house by a mechanic he recommended that worked on his car. I left it and the guy told me he’d look at it and we went back to Jerry’s to work on planning the live version of Jerry’s Kidders. We are shooting for work in theatres rather than clubs and we planned an attack.

We worked hard the entire afternoon and I called to see if my car was ready but they’d not even looked at it yet. I could have flipped out like I have all too often in the past but I calmly hung up and Jerry took me to pick up the car. I’ve got way more important things to be concerned about than one more squeak box car. That’s not my passion. Comedy is.