Paying My Cruise Dues

Sunday October 17th, 2010 - Somewhere At Sea

   I’m trying my best to figure out the dynamics of entertaining people on cruise ships. It’s a different animal altogether from clubs, which is a different animal from corporate work. All these animals eat different food, and it’s up to me to figure out what to feed each one.

   Cruise ship audiences that I’ve seen so far seem to like old style very basic comedy that doesn’t make them think. They like to be talked to, and like to talk back - sometimes even when it’s not their turn. They can be rude, but I don’t think they mean it. I think they have limited to zero experience in front of live entertainment and don‘t know how to behave.

   This is a real test of wits, as there are so many rules I have to abide by. The requirement of not repeating material between the early PG show and the later adult R show makes it a real challenge, especially for someone like me who likes to mix up material more than the average comic. I like to shape each show for each audience, but that’s not conducive here.

   Then, to make it even harder, we have to do several minutes for the ‘Welcome Aboard’ show that happens in the big theater on the first night of the cruise. They have a teaser for the passengers of things to do on the cruise, and comedy is part of it. I wasn’t asked to do it on my last run, but I did end up doing it yesterday. It’s the option of the cruise director.

   This particular week, both comedians were asked to do about five minutes. That’s not a lot of time, but it’s a tricky call. It should be strong material to get laughs and establish an idea of what people should expect if they decide to come see our show, but it also takes it out of our repertoire for the week as they’ve heard it. We’re not supposed to repeat stuff.

   I did very well in my five minute teaser, and didn’t use any of my main bits other than a couple of lines to establish my stage character. They laughed hard and I really enjoyed the chance to perform on the big stage. I wasn’t able to do that on the last two ships I worked.

   Tonight’s first show was very difficult, but I managed to pull it off. There was maybe a half full room, and halfway through my set karaoke started in the bar next door that only I could hear. The club manager warned me before I went up that it‘s been a problem, but it was still distracting as hell and I had to deal with that, a half full house and talking kids.

   There was a family of four sitting right up front that were extremely nice people, but did not know how to sit and enjoy live comedy. They spoke out every time I hit on something they related to, as did their daughters aged 7 and 9. Then, each was taken to the bathroom by one of the parents within ten minutes of each other. It was one big constant distraction.

   The second show was jam packed, but most of them were from Louisiana. They weren’t loud laughers, but they were very loud when yelling the annoying ’Who Dat’ Saints chant incessantly during the show. I was a northerner, and they let me know it. I had all I could handle to keep their attention for my thirty minutes. Some were with me, some weren’t. It doesn’t get any easier - tomorrow I have three shows. I’ll give it my best. It’s all I can do.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary