Tuesday, October 12, 2010

See Ya Later, Radiator

Monday October 11th, 2010 - Chicago, IL

   Sometimes it feels like I stumble alone through a life of my own private hell. Super rich athletes are tagging hot chicks left and right, and I’m trying to make sure my radiator isn’t leaking on a car with over 200,000 miles on it. I’m getting screwed too, but it’s different.

   These guys live in a whole different world. I remember back in high school when I was a ball boy for the Milwaukee Bucks. That was back when the NBA was struggling but the players still had it pretty good. I remember hearing one player who wasn’t even that good say with pride that he had kids in about a dozen different towns. This was back in 1980.

   Now it seems to have gotten totally out of control. Players today are making a whole lot more than they were then, and it was pretty insane back then. I guess it would be difficult for anyone to turn down that kind of action, but what does it all mean? It makes me puke.

   People like Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant did what they did, but it wasn’t like they had Ethel Mertz waiting for them when they got home. Both of them had piping hot pieces of filet mignon waiting for them at home. If they didn’t want to get married, why did they?

   I’m not a moral judge, but the whole thing is a sham. If you’re going to go out and have fun, have at it. Derek Jeter isn’t married and I’m sure he’s not without female company if he so chooses. I just don’t see why the ones who cheat do it with such high quality wives.

   This whole new Brett Farve situation is something I refuse to follow closely. It doesn’t interest me in the least, especially if I have to look at his junk on a video. It’s bad enough I have to see him in a putrid purple Vikings uniform. His tingle berry can remain covered.

   Even though I think Favre is a lout and a scumbag, I’m still not convinced that’s him on those pictures just yet. I’m no lawyer, but someone could have impersonated him and had a wrist watch like his. What brand is it, Bruno Magli? I’m sure it will all come out sooner or later, but until it does, I really don’t care. He has a scorching hot wife, isn’t it enough?

   I guess not, but none of that is of my concern. I turn it off when I see it on TV or hear it on the radio because I don’t want any of it polluting whatever positive brainwaves I have left. I have my own problems, even though they’re light years away from that. I had to get my radiator replaced, and total damage was $355. Significant to me, but not anybody else.

   I guess it’s all relative. An unexpected bill for $355 rocks my world, but if Brett Favre’s radiator went out he could buy a new car immediately and pay cash for it and not even put a dent in his checking account. Yeah, I know - life’s just not fair. Tell me something new.

   I hosted the Rising Star Showcase at Zanies in Chicago tonight and before the show had dinner with Bert Haas. We talked about comedy classes and hosting, and I just don’t have time to do those things right now. They’ve always been good to me, but I’ll never be a big star there. That’s up to me to do on my own. Not easy. It’s hard enough to just squeak by.

Posted via email from Dobie Maxwell's "Dented Can" Diary

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