This football thing is about to get ugly ‘round these parts. The Packers vs. the Bears is a showdown for the ages, and I’m right in the middle of it all. Literally. It’s like living right on the Mason/Dixon line and having friends who are loyal to both sides. It’s a hot zone.
Stupid me, I’m based in enemy territory loaded with rival colors. I bought myself a nice new Packers winter jacket this year, after several without one. In fact, the last jacket I had was a blue one that only had the NFL logo over the heart. I bought it specifically because I wanted to remain anonymous, but still warm in winter. I wish I still had that jacket now.
I got it cheap too. It was a display model and I saw it at the store and asked if it was for sale. There was no price on it, and the clerk had to ask the manager if he could sell it. My reasoning was that I travel so much, I didn’t want to stand out and have to catch any heat from anyone, especially club owners who cheer for another team. It’s a political thing.
I know how passionate (translate: STUPID) people can get over sports teams, and that includes me too. I don’t need to piss off someone who has the ability to hire me because I cheer for a different sports team. I can cheer all I want, it’s just not smart to wear it on my sleeve - again literally. A nice plain winter coat without team logos is the correct choice.
Too late. I already bought it. I kind of knew it was a mistake, but I decided to get it as a present for myself. I needed a jacket anyway, as I accidentally ripped a sleeve on the blue one and didn’t want to walk around with duct tape on it. I have a job, I can afford a coat.
But, in typical Mr. Lucky fashion, I had to buy a flaming colors Packer jacket complete with the gigantic ‘G’ logo on the back and big bright yellow and white stripes down each sleeve. That’s bad enough considering where I live, but it had to be this year, the first one since 1941 the two teams have met in the playoffs. Could there be any more polarization?
To top it off, I’ve also got a fine array of Packerphernalia including hats, both sweat and t-shirts, and even shoes. What am I, an idiot? No, just a hopelessly addicted fan. Wait, yes I am an idiot. But I can’t help myself. It’s in my blood. I’m hooked on the green and gold.
I’ve already gotten some nasty comments walking around in a store and getting gas at a pump. I’ve kept my mouth shut so far, but I know me. At some point I’ll probably have a confrontation, and it won’t be pretty. I know how to incite people if I want, and if it were to happen on the wrong day I’ll slice some oaf like a roast beef brisket and not feel guilty.
If I’m smart, I’ll find a Kevlar lining to wear underneath my jacket. There’s a giant ‘G’ on the back with a smaller one right over the chest that would each serve as a wonderful target for someone with a sniper rifle around here. Why take that risk? It’s just a game.
Unfortunately, not around these parts. This is WAR, baby. In South America, it’s about soccer. Here, it’s the NFL. Maybe I should move to Bolivia for a week. Nah. Go Packers!
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