Why Can't He Just Die?

Saturday November 15th, 2008 - Lake Villa, IL

I’m about as angry as a humanoid life form can get right now. I’m seeing blood red and I’m ready to haul off and kick someone right square in the ass with steel toed work boots. Don’t worry - it’s not you. It’s my old ex-business partner again, a.k.a. ‘The Embezzler’.

This situation just won’t die and he won’t either unfortunately. I thought he’d gone back to Australia to suckle his mother’s teat and freeload there for a while but I received a note from one of my former students that just about sent me through the roof in a blind rage.

Apparently he is still trying to be in the teaching business because there was a picture of him standing next to Jay Leno. THAT is what capped it for me and I was ready to take his head off with a toenail clipper. If it would have been anyone else I would have let it pass.

What pissed me off so much was that another alleged comedian came to me a while ago and asked if I’d help him with teaching classes. He was a writer for Leno at one time so it sounded like a good idea because he promised me he’d get Jay to get a picture with me so it would legitimize my classes, book and tapes. Who wouldn’t make that kind of a deal?

I was stupid enough to take him at his word but he never came through with the picture with Jay or anything else he said he’d do. Then he started teaching his own mangled class not only in Michigan where he lives but he came right in my back yard in Chicago to do it here too. I called him on it and he denied every making that promise and then ignored me.

In the mafia this is how a person gets wacked. It’s a respect thing. I’m very respectful to those around me and if there is a problem I try my very hardest to fix it. I made more than my share of mistakes over the years but this wasn’t it. These pukes are stealing from me.

The Embezzler knew this whole story and then he pulled his little stunt and cleaned out the bank account from the Zanies classes which he was in charge of organizing. This took me totally by surprise and I’m still trying to reorganize and recover from it. To see his fat ass smirking next to Jay Leno made me want to crack his skull in half with a waffle iron.

I don’t blame Jay Leno for this. He doesn’t know or care and he shouldn’t but by every account I’ve heard of him he’s a straight up guy and would think this is totally wrong. It’s theft and other than stealing a comic’s act this comes about as close as it gets. I’m furious.

What am I supposed to do here? I know I should just focus on my own stuff but this is a major bone of contention with me and I can’t help but think about it. If I did this to any of those wank sticks they’d cry foul and try to ruin my name. They’d be the first to scream.

I have tried reasoning with this pud but he just doesn’t listen. He is purposely trying his best to hurt me because he knows how much passion I have for comedy and teaching too. He’s a money whore and pretty much admits as much so why does he keep trying to make this work when he doesn’t really love it? Because it looks like an easy buck and he’s lazy.

How I choose to handle this ugly situation is going to determine my political skills. I do admit I sent Mr. Embezzler a spicy email along with the forward of the email he sent with his mug plastered next to Jay Leno’s. I probably shouldn’t have but I felt I needed to do it.

I thought this guy was my friend for a long time. He appeared to be and he actually was good about helping me when I asked him to. When I had a bad car accident he drove way down to Ohio to pick me up. I helped him whenever I could too and that’s why I it was so big of a surprise when he cleaned out the bank account. I trusted him with my whole life.

He’s basically a fat lazy 40 something bum who is content to go nowhere in life. He’s a rich kid who never had to work and now that his daddy died and he didn’t get the millions he thought he would he apparently thought it was ok to help himself to our business fund.

I have plenty of my own faults and don’t claim to be perfect but one thing I haven’t had the guts to do is steal from a business partner and then go behind his back and start up the exact same business and try to undercut him. This whole thing is a huge pain in the ass to think about and I don’t know why he’s doing it. He was never this persistent for our stuff.

He knows how much this whole thing hurts me and he is bastardizing all my hard work over a lifetime and all the dues I paid and the hard struggle it took to get the information I use to teach my classes. He and his apes are trying to cash in the easy way on my efforts.

Who wouldn’t be furious about that? I know I’m not the only person dealing with a bad situation like this but it’s still a total downer. Nobody else cares and that’s why I have this daily forum so I can at least get it out of my system a little without committing a felony.

I can’t guarantee I still won’t though. If I were to see him or any of his minions today in my path I can’t guarantee I wouldn’t ball up my fists and start playing a tune on raw skull. There is only so much reasoning a sane man can do and then it’s time to use other means.

I’m not a violent person by nature and don’t want it to come to that. I must say though it wouldn’t bother me if the tax man showed up on his doorstep and looked into the fact that he hasn’t filed income taxes in over a dozen years. Maybe that’s a little factoid I can send.

I hate to be a petty little priss about this but those guys are stepping on my dignity and it is as painful as anything in my world. It’s all I’ve got and I’ve nurtured those classes for a lot of years and I am not going to give up my hard work to three thieves with a website.

There was a pigheaded guy who was my roommate in Utah when I lived there. We were friends or so I thought and he pulled his own little stunt that eventually caused me to have to lose my house. I tried reasoning with him many times but just like this it didn’t work.

He eventually died of a heart attack in a boat fishing with his father and son at age 50. It didn’t make me sad when I heard about it and I can’t say I won’t feel the same if I heard it happened to this varmint slug either. I wish this would just go away already but it doesn‘t.